Saturday, July 29, 2006

 

50 "Greatest" Things You've Never Done


Some people say Anna Karenina is the single greatest novel ever written. Beautiful, vigorous, and eminently readable, this particular Anna Karenina translation is said to be the definitive text for generations to come.

But I've never read Anna Karenina, nor have most of you. Let's make a list of the 50 "greatest" things that we've never done, experienced, read, or seen. I've never gone to Paris nor watched Citizen Kane from start to finish. You've never read the entire Bible nor read the first page of Proust's long novel. You've never tasted pistachio ice cream nor understood the causes of the Punic and Peloponnesian wars.

Comments:
I want to be a bone marrow donor. I\
 
Read Deleuze and Guattari's "Capitalism and Schizophrenia" series, but just yesterday I purchased them from Borders...
 
This will take some time:

1)I have never grown to appreciate cauliflower, much less so with a froth of cheddar on it.

2) I have, several times, attempted to read Joyce's 'Ullyses'. My most succesful effort to do so entailed reading one page each time I defecated. This worked until about half way through the tome when I became deeply constipated. Finally, in a state of surrender I put the tome to one side and rapidly returned to regularity and health.
 
3) I have yet to walk on water and, on my next attempt, will wear worn-out clothing. My church suit was ruined.

4)For many years when I was younger I wanted to meet Bob Dylan. I never did and now I don't want to so I suppose it's no longer something I didn't do but something I don't want to do and nevertheless or therefore haven't done. Desires are convolutions.

5) As yet no one has answered my questions and I want answers to my questions, (just like I'm answering yours). For instance; Is kharma personal, general or generational? Am I responsible for the transgression of my ancestors? Am I responsible for my own trespass? Am I responsible? Why? Does Society, the Government, the Church, God, the Self assign responsibility or definition of transgression? Who's really responsible? Who says?
 
I have been an EMT, I have held a top secret clearance in the Army (Not as big a deal as it sounds), I have loved an unattractive woman... She became buetiful. I have lived in Denver when it was a beutiful city.
 
I've never..
..read Ulysses.
..been to Paris (I just live 700km away from it).
..learned French as good and fast as English.
..built a house.
..said a woman that I love her(had no opportunity yet).
..understand why people elect/vote Republicans/Conservatives.
..read a post like this.
 
LSD
 
I have never:
Seen a ghost or a ufo & i'd love to see both.
Climbed a mountain like Everest(my daughter & I feel these people are severely disabled.)
Fought in a war.
Hob-nobbed with big-wigs(probably bordomsville.)
Hopped a train.
Gotten a degree.
Mowed the lawn with scissors.
Mistreated my two Golden Retrievers-that would be a travesty.
I'm going to stop- the more I write, the more I see I've never done much at all.
 
fallen in love
read most of "the classics" (exclusions: Jane Eyre, anything by Mark Twain, er, that's it I think)
written a novel
had children
left the country, except to the tourist town of Nogales, Mexico
learned a foreign language well enough that I don't have to stop in the middle of verbs to figure out the correct ending
donated an organ
worked in a soup kitchen
made a program anyone else wanted to use

This is somewhat depressing, so I'll stop now.
 
6) I may never understand why the idea of monotheism is presented as superior to the idea of animism. Pantheism and its resultant clutter of gods and images eventually tend to infect monotheisms with the desire to represent deity as an image.


7) Even though constantly blessed with an abundance of love and romance I will never love all who I am drawn to love in my dreams. This is both a pity and not a pity because an impossibility should not generate sorrow.

8) In this life I am not, to my knowledge, considered an iconoclast
or even a man of moderate note.

9) In this world I will never be able to stop dreaming.

10) I will never have a dog. I will never name it Rover or Spot or Big Yeller. I will not feed it kibbles or build it a quaint house. I will not throw sticks and call out fetch! Rover Spot Big Yeller, fetch. I will have a cat who like me does not like being told what to do,(and courteously buries while I flush.)
I will never experience the apparent satisfying ecstacy of controlling a dog on a string, of teaching another sentient being to beg. Beg! Rover Spot Big Yeller Beg!
 
i have never-sailed to hawaii-seen a great white shark up close and personal-raft thru the grand canyon-seen a lava flow in person-been a pit boss at high stakes crap table-played semi-pro baseball with my son-dived the great barrier reef- swam with a whale shark-gone marlin fishing in cabo the list goes on and on
 
I will never see The Great Wall of China.
I will never be an astronaut.
I will never play the piano.
I will never be a German citizen.
I will never grow my hair to my knees.
I will never drive a motorcycle.
 
had nothing to lose
gone sky diving with a wing suit
been in a band
seen "the godfather"
been in a hard fight and come out on top
been in a riot
wandered the world
had a period in my life where i was never bored
and i mean to do every last one of these things before I die. Do you? Whats holding you back? LIVE YOUR DREAMS there is no reason you cant all obstacles can be over come Its only the barriers of your mind holding you back drop this attitude of resigning yourself to apathetic oppression. LIVE OUR DREAMS
 
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