Friday, December 02, 2005


Jesus, Moses, and beyond?

If Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, and Buddha, and Confucius were gathered in a room, who would be the first to speak? What would he say?

Jesus and Mohammed would speak simaltaneously, trying to offer the apology, "Sorry about that
Jesus "Oy"
Jesus would first offer them wine...
After years of debate over his next move, Mohammed "castled" his King and Rook. Jesus and Buddha have been silently officiating the match. Moses looks down at the board, strokes his beard, and replies: "Three hundred years ago, you moved your rook when my knight threatened it, and now you castle? Oh Mohammed, how easy we forget." Buddha nods in agreement, smiles and looks to Jesus, who shrugs with a mirrored grin. "Okay," said Mohammed. "Do over."
Possibly, Mohammed would mutter "Infidels."
Or Jesus would start with the whole "salvation" thing.
Regardless, it would get ugly quickly, I think.
Confucius would start off with a piece of wisdom about friendship, which would set the tone for this meeting of deities.
The most insecure participants of a group are often the first to feel a need in speaking up. History suggests this would be Mohammed.
Since a few of those are mythical people and never actually existed, and Mohammed was a raving psychotic, I imagine whatEVER is said first would be a doozie.
Who would speak first?

I would. I'm there, or I wouldn't have an interest in the proceedings.

I'd say "So?"
The others would beat up the pedofile of the group.
Since all alledged participants are fictional the question is moot.
i don't know who would speak first, but Buddha would speak last, if at all.
I think at the same time all of them would say "What the ... "
Jesus, "what the hell..."
I figure Mohammed would say, "Ignore everything I worte while I was in Medina"
It would be a worying thought if anything was said...Isn't it madness to talk to your own reflection?
Jesus, Mohammed and Moses all start discussing, the conversation about which Diety is best escalates to frenzied levels, insults to the effect of "My Grandma's a better prophet than you" begin to fly, they fight to the death, and Confucious and Buddha are left chillin' in the corner.

One of them shakes his head. The other sighs.
Amilius would say, "Who do I choose to remember being today. He would be the only soul in the room remembering the several lifetimes.
There would be only one man in the room. The One soul who had been all those masters would be musing on past lives lived and the evolution of awareness he had been guiding through the living of those lifetimes. His first name would have been, according to Edgar Cayce, 'Amilius'. He appreciates the Graciously Organized Design of all of it.
They would sit together and smile. Drink some tea, and talk about the magnificent creator, you, and me. Who would be the first to speak? It would probably be Moses...
Jesus Moses and Mohammed would simultaneously shout 'heathens' at Buddha and Confucious. After tossing them from the room, if history is a sign, the three sons of Abraham would instantly turn on each other with knives and clubs in a typically reasoned attempt to solve really old differences.
i would be in the room with some coffe and i would speak first!

nahh dudes you just make everyone crazy about shit that they dont understan i dont understand you guys so why dont you make a nice band of music....
Confucius: Who the **** are you lot?
Mohammed : What did he say?
Jesus: Hmmm, What's going on here?
Buddha: Buddah bless you.
Jesus was able to read minds, and was of the One Mind Soul (vide Plotinus), so He would likely wait for the right timing.
Gautama Buddha would be in Nirvana.
Confucius learned from superior people, so he would listen and learn.
Mohammad found the Archangel Gabriel to be Messenger, and noted that he felt his soul being "torn" whenever he took a dictation.
Moses was slow to speak, and spoke per the direction of the great "I Am."
The Prophet Mohammad would speak, as he did when Jesus appeared to him, and call the other Beings "Brothers."
A Friends' "sense of the meeting" would likely obtain, and words would not often need to be spoken.
the first being jesus would immediately scream "What! You guys! Ive been telling my people to ignore you for years! Dammit what does it take to have someones religion killed around here!"

Bush pipes up "about... 200 nukes and a gullible populace"

Jesus: "i'll take that then."

After which we all come to out senses realize he doesn't exist and he disapears.
I think Buddha would be the first to speak, simply raising his finger to his lips and uttering "shhh"
Mohammed would say "Gee, try to write simply how to live with other people....."
Jesus would say "amen".
The rest would just nod.
Jesus would take a stroll on the Dead Sea while the others watched open mouthed.
I don't know who would speak first or for what reason. But I will leave open the possibility that Buddah & Confucius would be saying silent prayers for the others.
Moses represents the God of power and Law which during his time was ABSOLUTELY appropriate. But when Jesus came along it was God suffering with us and having a much deeper understanding of our pain. Jesus was thwe God of Love. You need BOTH but Love is OVER Law. And I hate to say it but some Jews view Judaism as an exclusive club which implies pride. And pride is baaaaaad news. Holy living is not sexy, cool or self-aggrandizing. But it can have a great sense of humor.
They would all be brought to the round table. Sir Lancelot would ask. "Okay, guys, what about this guy named Krishnamurti?"
its prophet mohammed (p.b.u.h) who is the master of all and ther last chosen prophet of god has the right to speak and all the other prophet bow him and to his glory.
honestly? since these were all real people but none of them were actually "god's messanger", Confucious would probabally say "ni meng shi she? wo meng wei she me zhai zhe li?"
and Buddha, the only other who allegedly knew any chinese in him would explain to him that they had all been placed in a hypothetical room to answer a question made by someone on the internet, at the same time, Jesus would be explaining a similar thing to Mohammed.
Jesus would say "wait - So the ENTIRE season was all in Patrick Duffy's mind?! That is fucked UP"

Buddha would answer "I'm more a Dynasty kinda guy"

Confucious would reply "Moses dude, don't bogart the ganja"
Jesus "Wait - did I say that or just think it"

Moses "So... The entire SEASON was all a dream and Bobby Ewing didn't die?! That is fucked UP!"

Confucious "Dude, don't bogart the ganja"

buddha would be the shy fat guy.

Or the whole thing would play out like Superbad
They would exchange pleasantries and greetings and offer each other libations. They are all men of God - the creator God - and would act accordingly.

As such, they would probably discuss how pride-filled and arrognant humanity is to suppose that we have ANY say in who God is?! How angry it makes God that no one sees that it is ALL the SAME GOD, just interpreted in different ways for their time and culture to understand. How depressing it to themselves that true salvation/nirvana/enlightenment will never come to those who wage war on others in the name of God.
The first in need to pee!
In sync... none would speak. There is no need.
There is no need for speech. Their common sorrow would be that mankind has chosen to worship rather than to emulate. Their common joy would be that there are some who understand and do.
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