Sunday, February 05, 2006

 

A great start

You are about to write the greatest novel the world has ever read. What is the first sentence?

Comments:
"I thought life mattered, and it didn't."

Does this mean I can't use that line anymore? Maybe I should have kept it to myself. Then again, greatness is relative.
 
Chiliasms trill by in irrelevant file.
 
In the begining...Ha, just kidding, wanted to sound like an avid christian. But can't wait to here the serious comments :)
 
I suddenly remembered the toilet was blocked and I had forgotten to call the plumber.
 
Time is strange here, in time.
 
"I'm cordially ambivalent".
 
It was a dark and stormy night...

Wait, wasn't there something that start like that already?
 
"none of this is true, but stay with me for a second."
 
"And the Lord said,'Jesus runneth over Mohammed with the BMW that Moses loaneth you and smite Elijah with thy cross; And Jesus runneth over Mohammed and smote Elijah with his cross' and then the real Avatar of the Lord of Host became a suicide bomber, Praise Chluthos.
 
It obviously has to be:

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

:-)
 
So...like, um...yeah.
 
I spend most my life farting and tap danceing.
 
"What am I WEARING!? Hey, your not an insurance salesman!!"
 
"Jeez, making crop circles is hard work!" Jose said.
 
The cat waited patiently for it's owners to leave for their holiday and then began it's plan to reek havoc inside their home.
 
I found out once upon a time is really when i was born

HA HA
 
In this prison when bubber says "pick up the soap son" you pick up the soap.
 
Amanda was in for a real shock. Her new boyfriend arrived at her parents' house for dinner wearing a full length evening gown, high heeled shoes and heavy make-up. "I thought you knew I always cross dress on Tuesdays," he said, as the butler threw him out of the tradesmen's entrance into a row of dustbins...
 
Mr. Smith had a bad habit of putting his penis where it didn't belong...
 
It was a hungry man, part curious, part desperate, that ate the first oyster.
 
Chiliasms trill by in irrelevant file. Really pissing me off. This is tantamount to nothing. Realities appertain to consequences and pro-sequences both. One form of enlightenment deserves access to all others. One glance at the outline of the object suggests the totality of its architectural parameters, virtues and/or vices. The challenge murmurs a tad of nastiness that was originally sent across the expanse in a spirit similar to venture philanthropy.

Any time that the Grimp ventures to make the investment of attention in time and consciousness it pays off in the crimson gardens enjoyable to the fragile carnal species. By those very fine ends he is without even two dollars. One is had but it is written all over to keep alive Grimp's delusion that he is in business.
...Procrastinate that I'm not plagiarizing closely. These are the state of my writings. At the originating end of these there exists a cragged pair of eyeballs nice though bitterly lubricated. The ancient contest of wills continues to draw an audience. Like the travelers who meet in the desert and are unwilling to draw aside to let the other pass, so this bargaining chip is left on the table by superstitious wagerers. There it lies, two intents disabled from the possibility of compromise.
The timely disagreement about the value and meaning of the structure of morality within the framework of reality.

Failing to even scantily acknowledge the addictive quality of what the ego insists upon the superego intervenes and forges a compromise.
In an effort to acquire a fixed point of reference in reality one positions oneself in the quantum field so that the transparency of one's perceptual cognitive apparatus reads the opacity for its entire value in obliquity.

The only reliable guidepost for a fleshpot in this universe are the inflammations suffered neath the loin doily. Anything less no matter how virtuous is worthless and frivolous.
Perception's content is dependent entirely upon the manifest result of one's gathering inertia and the subsequent experience of succumbing to dizziness and witnessing time seem to pas in the universe of reality. for instance, I know from certain recent interaction the value of common loneliness properly manicured and displayed in private behind and ornate publican facade
 
I had always assumed that zombies were inarticulate. Then, something behind me in the dark closet drew a breath.
 
It's already been used in the book "Everyones burning" by an auther who's name I can't recall, but I think the absolute best first sentance is "I knew I was getting somewhere with the drinking when the superpowers started kicking in."
 
In the end, it all sort of, made sense.
 
In the end, most of it- kind of- made sense.
 
In the end, it would make even less sense.
 
"This is the greatest novel ever written"
 
As Kemai unfurled the worn leather pouch, Marsten was able to see its contents glinting all silvery in the moonlight, she wriggled with delight inside, anticipating. It had been a long time since they used the bone sucking tubes.
 
The tripping hippie wondered which reality is more real: the reality one is born within or the reality one discovers within?
 
"It has been said, time and again, there is no free lunch."
 
It was a dark and rainy night.
 
Wow, dying isn't as hard as I thought it would be
 
Pay Attention!
 
Drugs are just bad, you should try to use Herbal Alternatives as a temporary replacement to loose the dependance!
 
They call me "Slow". I like to think it is like calling a bald man "Curly".
 
"After thousands of years of wanton bloodshed, unimaginable suffering, and the subjugation of women, the tide was finally turned and women were finally given charge of the planet."
(This first line of a great novel is from a man.)
 
The transcendental connection was finally complete & the animals were now ready to act & rid the earth of the "Great Scourge" called humanity.
 
Once upon a time and place; that was my final thought before the blackness took me.
 
"I'm really pissed off about the fact that I didn't get laid in Junior High."
 
"Holy shit" thought the robot "im a human being!"
 
A disclaimer .

First of all, it disgusting and typical of this present lousy era--that some of the people here would write about kitchy trash like farting and the penis . Earthiness is cheap grace . And those who settle for earthiness; for cheap giggles, shouldn't even bother thinking --let alone posting or writing .
 
' O Reader, see how the clear flame descends upon the dreaming book you hold in your hands ---burning away the letters to leave a secret cipher of unknown color .'

Jason Leary at mudstones2@aol.com
 
Hmmmmmmmm, how about...

"As I got to know Andy better the beatings became more direct."
 
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